Let Love In - Episode 165
Unreasonably Grateful
Hi there, I'm Terces, and I'd like to welcome you to the Unreasonably Grateful podcast.
I feel like I'm in a professional recording booth with this plain white wall behind me. I'm actually sitting in our modular home that's here on the farm. It's an older home and currently, it has a couple of people living in it that will soon be moving into the original farmhouse that we're in the process of remodeling.
Matthew and I move onto the farm tomorrow into our camper and then eventually we'll move into this home at some point and do a remodel of it. It will eventually become a rental when we get ready to start building our home. So anyway, welcome to my white wall.
I want to thank you for being here again. I'm always surprised when someone shares with me that "I have been following you for a long time Terces and I listen to your podcast, and I just want you to know." I'm always grateful whenever I hear that and I appreciate you being here whether you're new or have been with me for a while. I am just grateful for sharing this journey with you.
Sharing Stories
A little reminder, that I'm simply sharing stories from my life. Little bits of wisdom that I've gleaned over these 38 years of recovery from 20 years of dealing with the addiction of an eating disorder.
It's my hope that in sharing my story, you'll glean something that'll make a difference for you. That it will ease you along on your journey, help you see something that perhaps you hadn't seen in just that way before and it gives you a little bit more freedom to heal and to become who you were created to be so again. Thank you, thank you for being here.
Last week I finished up a series where I was reading stories from my recently published book, "Unreasonably Grateful, Living in Grace by Choice".
My Inspiration
I want to start a little mini-series on love and mostly the inspiration for this is coming from the sessions that I've been having with people. Just a reminder that on Tuesdays you can sign up for half-hour sessions with me on a donation basis.
And again, it's not that I have your answers, it's just that some people don't have an elder or somebody who can listen to them and reflect back just how amazing they are. I've actually loved doing it for those who have had sessions with me. I love getting to know those of you who sign up for those sessions on a little bit more personal level and I am grateful for that. So if you're interested. You can sign up here.
Letting Love In
So this series is on love and tonight what I want to talk about is letting love in. Many of you may have heard me say before that you can't experience love if you're not being loving.
In other words, if I'm irritated or upset and my husband Matthew comes in and he's being super loving, I don't experience love, I experience irritation or something like that.
So remember that if you're wanting to experience more love, it starts with you being loving.
If you're being defensive, or argumentative, if you're living in some state of fear or frustration, or if some wound or trauma has been activated, no matter how loving the other person may be, you won't experience that love. It'll be coming to you through the filter of whatever has grasped your attention at that moment.
Facing Our Blindspots
It may not be that you're consciously attending to what you're committed to but you may be triggered and thus in some episode or experience of the past. Which is what it usually is, or some fear of the future and so you can't actually experience love.
So how you let love in is you actually work on being more loving now. How do you do that when you're activated?
The first thing is to recognize that this is a similar situation from the past and it's probably got nothing to do with what's going on right now in this here-and-now moment. Then see if you can't take responsibility for what's captivated your attention.
One of the ways that I do that is I converse with it and I ask, "Okay, why are you here? What are you wanting me to see what are you wanting me to say what do you need? Even who are you?" What aspect of you is it that's feeling reactivated?
And sometimes when you can name it when you can give it a name. What is this? It's like envy. It's anger. It's frustration. Whatever it might be name it then you can kind of sit down with it, learn from it, and then let go, acknowledge it, appreciate it.
Even if it's uncomfortable, it's somehow serving you, and see if you can't even get to the place where you're grateful for it and you can thank it for showing up and helping you see perhaps a blind spot that you had.
Experiencing Love
When you can do that then you'll actually be more available, more open to let love in. And when you let love in, when you can come from and be more loving, you'll be able to receive some of the love that's out there.
You'll be able to experience the love that is wanting to express its gratitude or grace or appreciation for you.
So this week. Take that on when you recognize you're in the place where you want more love and be more loving. If you're activated or triggered or in some earlier similar incident from the past, see if you can't sit with it, and converse with it. Get to know it, ask questions and then when you're ready, let go. Try that on and I'll see you next week thank you so much.