On my podcast this is Episode 50, here is the transcript.
WOW oh WOW, here we are again, you and I, right here, right now. What are you present to? Just take a moment and look for yourself. I remember years ago asking someone that question and they had no idea what I was talking about or asking. I guess it does seem like an unfamiliar question, I mean culturally. We usually ask things like, how are you? what are you doing? what’s up? I see my question as a combination of all those things, recognizing that our attention does give us our experience, so whatever we are present to will probably indicate in some ways, how we are, what we are doing or just what’s up, what’s up in the forefront of our minds, our awareness.
Either way, answer it for yourself before you go on listening.
Here’s why. Today I want to explore with you something that is coming up for me. It’s like a nudge some type of encouragement, or stimulus, a bit of a slow process of discovery. I’m thinking sharing my process may support you in yours. I imagine that we are all in the midst of something new all the time, we just either aren’t aware of it or it isn’t present in our consciousness. When it begins to surface there may be a bit of discomfort, a disturbance so to speak. A bit like a tooth coming in for a child. It starts with a dull ache, and increases as it surfaces, and then one day after it erupts through the skin and continues to grow and strengthen it becomes something we can’t imagine living without, it’s functional, supports our eating, and is even necessary.
So what’s the nudge and how do I deal with it.
I talk to it, I ask questions as if it is emerging energy, even a being of sorts. Questions like, “What do you want?” or “Why are you here?” or “How can I support you?” In other words, I engage with it, rather than push it away or ignore it.
I also explore if or what I am resisting.
For example, the nudge I am feeling is something around who I am to be for others, how I am to serve, what I have to offer, it’s pushing up doubts I have of myself, I hear myself saying “I don’t want it to be about me”, I’ve also heard “ I don’t want to be weird or strange.” Now I don’t really know what I am referring to but there is a dream I had a long while back that has surfaced as well. In the dream, I was an older woman who lived on the outskirts of town and people were coming out to where I lived and seeing me. One day the powers that be came out and asked me what I was doing, they had noticed that people came and then left more empowered and they were somehow threatened by it. I responded, “it’s a secret”, in the dream they told me that if I didn’t tell them what I was doing they were going to sacrifice me in the marketplace. The next scene of the dream was a man and a boy, with their back to me and I could see that there was a woman on an altar in the marketplace. Somehow I knew that the woman had told her “secret” to the boy and it was going to live on, beyond her and she was peaceful about it. I also knew that the secret was nothing, she actually sat with people and listened, doing nothing.
I’m not certain what all of this is pointing to. I am working on a book, and it keep shapeshifting at this juncture, I have this podcast and one called Walking Each Other Home with a dear friend, I do a Zoom call on the first Friday of each month sharing inspiration with those who join, I milk cows, make cheese and bread and have pretty much stayed on the farm for a year now running a little farm store and hosting overnight guests and events. So, now what, what is this energy guiding me towards, asking me for, or wanting to encourage me towards.
Honestly, I don’t know, I’m being patient, I’m listening, I’m working through any resistance I might become aware of and I’m waiting for more clarity.
So, if you are in the midst of the in-between, the time between what is right now and what may be wanting to be birthed. Perhaps doing the same thing may be helpful.
So as I sign off and until next time.
Talk to whatever is arising, befriend it. Be curious. and then
Listen, be patient, notice and relax any resistance that may be surfacing, and wait for more clarity, it will come and when it does you will be ready.