A note: I recently started looking into how best to promote or share my podcast with others. I was led to the idea that having my blog be a transcript of my podcast is useful and beneficial for others, thus I am starting with Episode 49 and posting the transcript here. Let me know if it’s helpful, also if you listen to my podcast please subscribe and review it, that apparently has meaning in the podcast world. Thank you so much for being on this journey with me, you matter. Here you go
Quick question, do you ever feel trapped by your yeses? What I mean by that is you over-commit, saying yes when you actually don’t mean it.
or saying yes because you feel guilty when you don’t rearrange your life to accommodate a request and say no, which leads you to disempowered yeses.
Or maybe you find yourself saying no all the time, thinking you need to protect your time or schedule or you are afraid of over-committing so you just say no and it may have become a habitual no, leaving you with little or no freedom to say yes.
Does that fit you? If so lean in,
I want you to consider that the most powerful people in the world can make wild, outrageous requests and often do, and they also have the freedom to say yes or no.
Ultimately that is where you and I want to be, FREE TO RESPOND EITHER WAY
How do we get there ? Well like all other healthy habits, we practice. So what does that look like?
Well first pay attention, see if you can catch yourself either over committing with your yeses or under participating with your no’s.
Then start practicing. If you are strong is yes, then practice saying no. See what comes up, be curious. Dig in, what is behind your hesitancy to say no, are you wanting to please someone, or wanting to be liked, or simply wanting to be needed, really take a look, what is it that has you say yes, perhaps over and above your availability.
or If you are weak in yes and most often say no to requests, then start saying yes, and see what surfaces.
This is an opportunity to see what is running the show underneath your replies.
It will tell you something about yourself.
You want to always be practicing the reply you are weak in or at least discovering where your weak and what is fueling it.
lI got my mouth washed out with soap as a child for saying NO. While there may have been some value to the lesson (although I struggle to find it now) it definitely impacted my ability to say No, even as an adult. In fact the response I had to work through and heal when I said no, there was shame. It’s an example of how some of those early experiences can be trapped in our adult bodies.
This is the kind of work I am encouraging you to do, and looking closely at our freedom to be a yes or a no in life is an amazing entrance point.
So dig in.
Get strong in both and heal those underpinnings that may well be hiding behind your freedom to reply either way.
Signing off and until next time,
Yes you are loved, and No you don’t have to earn it.