As I look back at the last date of my latest post I a reminded of how life has changed since then. It was the beginning of the COVID experience and the end of life as I had known it. As an “elder” it was suggested I quarantine first, before others younger than myself. My husband was in Mexico and not returning for 9 weeks. Heading up the farm on my own I stepped into new roles and redefined some of the ways we communicated and organized ourselves as a team. Some people “stranded” from the stay at home “orders” came to live on the farm and I had new opportunities to learn to lead and create win-win moments.

Not long ago our farm was surrounded by the LNU fire complex and we were fortunate enough to have lost only grapes vines, trees and irrigation. All our animals and structures survived. So many of our neighbors are in a deep experience of an ending as they lost everything and are just now beginning the process of what’s next. Again so much to give thanks for.

Writing now, it all seems so long ago. Those new beginnings have stretched into so many others as these past seven months have presented themselves with unforseen endings. Today a guest on the farm, who was born and raised in Russia said in such a non chalant manner, “oh the crash is just beginning.” It wasn’t a question in his mind, and he was apparently referencing his past. I found myself wondering once again about the path we are on, as a people and as a country. I find myself questioning what is ending and what is beginning?

Right now I keep my focus close at home, that is where I am. I listen for and seek what resonates as true for me. I attempt to stay present not letting all the noise or distractions pull me away from the moment I am living. I give thanks and just as I recovered from the decades of addiction I open myself up to loving and to being loved.

Let go and love.